I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize