nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
