so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
