oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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