i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
