Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
