So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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