I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
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please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
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also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I had to cum in my sink.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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