We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
