Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
