There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
