i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
