So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
