another moral hangover. fuck.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
