Well douche your snatch and let's go!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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