This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
420 ftw
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Randomize
