They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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