at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
