your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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