is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
