He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
