Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
