Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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