ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
