I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
