WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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