what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
