I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
