You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
