Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
