i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
