you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
