You were right. It hurts to walk today.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Randomize
