I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
