Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
two words...techno handjob
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
