I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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