My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
