OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
