Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special