i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
