I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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