Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize