I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Randomize
