Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
