I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
