She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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