guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
