We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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