maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
