Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
