well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
