And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
