My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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