Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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