Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
