YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
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I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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