I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
