and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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